Two and a Half Men — Season 3
Two and a Half Men·Season 3·2005·24 episodes

Season 3

Two and a Half Men

Two adults. One kid. No grown-ups.

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Season 3

24 episodes

  • Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts
    S3·E1

    Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts

    September 19, 2005 · 22 min

    After falling off the roof, Alan needs Charlie's help in looking after Jake, which interferes with Charlie's social life.

  • Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover
    S3·E2

    Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover

    September 26, 2005 · 22 min

    Jake gets suspended from school after drawing an offensive picture of a girl in his class that has large breasts. Meanwhile, Charlie is asked to watch over Alan's chiropractic office after pulling an all-nighter.

  • Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark
    S3·E3

    Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark

    October 3, 2005 · 22 min

    Alan has been dating a lot, and Charlie soon finds out that it has been one woman - his ex-wife, Judith. He tries to stop Alan, and even brings Rose, Evelyn and Berta to interfere - but Alan ignores them all.

  • Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs
    S3·E4

    Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs

    October 10, 2005 · 22 min

    Berta causes tension between Charlie and Alan, when she temporarily moves in with them

  • We Called It Mr. Pinky
    S3·E5

    We Called It Mr. Pinky

    October 17, 2005 · 21 min

    Charlie learns he can't be in a long-lasting relationship, becuase of unresolved issues he has with his mother. Jake asks Charlie for advice about a girl at school.

  • Hi, Mr. Horned One
    S3·E6

    Hi, Mr. Horned One

    October 24, 2005 · 21 min

    Ignoring Alan's warnings, Charlie continues to date Isabella until she threatens to put a curse on his manhood.

  • Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop
    S3·E7

    Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop

    November 7, 2005 · 22 min

    Charlie wakes up with Rose the morning after her birthday party. Her irate father comes to ask Charlie about what the future holds for him and Rose, but the unexpected happens when Evelyn shows up.

  • That Voodoo That I Do Do
    S3·E8

    That Voodoo That I Do Do

    November 14, 2005 · 21 min

    Charlie tricks Jake into taking ballet lessons, so he can get close to the teacher.

  • Madame and Her Special Friend
    S3·E9

    Madame and Her Special Friend

    November 21, 2005 · 21 min

    One of Charlie's elderly neighbors tries to seduce Alan, while Charlie tries to stop Jake from giving money to a televangelist.

  • Something Salted and Twisted
    S3·E10

    Something Salted and Twisted

    November 28, 2005 · 22 min

    Charlie helps Alan with his obsession of always having to get approval from the women in his life.

  • Santa's Village of the Damned
    S3·E11

    Santa's Village of the Damned

    December 19, 2005 · 22 min

    Alan starts dating a woman with a Martha Stewart complex. Before long she's running the house with an obsession for perfection.

  • That Special Tug
    S3·E12

    That Special Tug

    January 9, 2006 · 22 min

    Charlie sees a therapist to learn how to deal with Alan's emotional insecurities.

  • Humiliation Is a Visual Medium
    S3·E13

    Humiliation Is a Visual Medium

    January 23, 2006 · 22 min

    Charlie finds himself in a relationship that is not based on sex.

  • Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded
    S3·E14

    Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded

    February 6, 2006 · 22 min

    Charlie arranges a romantic date with Mia in the hopes of consummating their relationship. Alan begins to date Charlie's most recent ex-girlfriend.

  • My Tongue Is Meat
    S3·E15

    My Tongue Is Meat

    February 27, 2006 · 22 min

    Charlie has trouble keeping up with Mia's healthy lifestyle, so he begins to sneak beers, cigars, and burgers behind her back. When Mia finds out what he was doing, Charlie has to decide if he is truly in love with her or just whipped.

  • Ergo, the Booty Call
    S3·E16

    Ergo, the Booty Call

    March 6, 2006 · 22 min

    Alan has trouble deciding if he should bring his younger girlfriend to Jake's birthday party to meet his mom and his ex-wife. Rose tries to get her boyfriend to act more like Charlie.

  • The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer
    S3·E17

    The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer

    March 13, 2006 · 21 min

    Charlie is nominated for an advertising award, but he decides to boycott it because his arch nemesis always wins. The rest of his family tries to trick him into going. Rose is having relationship problems with Gordon and seeks help from Charlie.

  • The Spit-Covered Cobbler
    S3·E18

    The Spit-Covered Cobbler

    March 20, 2006 · 21 min

    Alan starts to have financial problems when he starts paying for his girlfriend's bills, so Charlie tries to get him to break up with her. Meanwhile, Judith is after Alan because he is late in paying his alimony check.

  • Golly Moses, She's a Muffin
    S3·E19

    Golly Moses, She's a Muffin

    April 10, 2006 · 22 min

    Charlie is surprised to find out that Kandi has been living with them for the last three weeks. Alan is having a tough time helping Kandi earn a living. Charlie has lost his sense because of the dry-spell he is going through.

  • Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro
    S3·E20

    Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro

    April 24, 2006 · 21 min

    Alan tries to win Kandi back. Meanwhile, Charlie starts to sleep with her mom, Mandi, and Judith gets set up with her father, Andy.

  • And the Plot Moistens
    S3·E21

    And the Plot Moistens

    May 1, 2006 · 21 min

    Jake's teacher has a meeting with Alan and Judith to discuss the lack of interest Jake has at school. Alan starts to fall for Francine, in a platonic way, because he is tired of the lack of intelligent communication he has with Kandi. Charlie helps Jake audition for his school musical.

  • Just Once with Aunt Sophie
    S3·E22

    Just Once with Aunt Sophie

    May 8, 2006 · 22 min

    A girl from Jake's school invites him to his first boy-girl party. Charlie and Alan help him get ready for it by giving him advice. Alan and Charlie get nostalgic and remember their first boy-girl party.

  • Arguments for the Quickie
    S3·E23

    Arguments for the Quickie

    May 15, 2006 · 22 min

    Mia comes back to town with her dance troupe and invites Charlie to her performance. At first, he decides not to go and tries to convince Alan that he no longer has feelings for her. He goes to the see the performance and Mia explains that she wants some of Charlie's sperm. Charlie responds by asking Mia for something.

  • That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite
    S3·E24

    That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite

    May 22, 2006 · 21 min

    Charlie and Mia start making their wedding arrangements. Things begin to fall apart when their two families meet each other. They eventually decide on a small ceremony in Las Vegas.

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