My Bloody Valentine

My Bloody Valentine (2009) is Patrick Lussier's slasher, and you can watch it online on iFILM. Tom Hanniger comes home to the mining town of Harmony ten years after a Valentine's Day massacre — a slaughter set off by a coma-survivor miner named Harry Warden, who killed in a gas mask with a pickaxe.

Tom barely unpacks before bodies start dropping again. The pickaxe is back in business, residents die one by one, and suspicion settles squarely on the returning son. He ends up digging for the truth with Sarah, his old flame, now married to the town sheriff. It's a remake of the 1981 cult original, with Jensen Ackles, Jamie King and Kerr Smith leading the cast.

This one was shot in real stereoscopic 3D, every pickaxe swing aimed straight at the audience, and the movie knows exactly what it is. No depth, plenty of carnage, a whodunit that keeps three suspects in play, and a now-famous full-frontal chase through a motel. Pure comfort food for old-school slasher fans. Stream My Bloody Valentine (2009) online on iFILM.